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Dumb

 Home Excuses ...
... well, maybe.

I'm trying to cut down.

I have to sit up with a sick ant.

I think you want the OTHER [your name] .

I prefer to remain an enigma.

I'm trying to cut down.
I have to sit up with a sick ant.
I think you want the OTHER [your name] .
I prefer to remain an enigma.
I have to stay home and see if I snore.
My Dress For Obscurity class meets then.
My palm reader advised against it.
I have to jog my memory.
I'm going to the Missing Persons Bureau to see if anyone is looking for me.
Having fun gives me prickly heat.
I have to thaw some karate chops for dinner.
I'm going to count the bristles in my toothbrush.
I have to go to court for kitty littering.
I'm having my baby shoes bronzed.
I have to knit some dust bunnies for a charity bazaar.
I'm up to my elbows in waxy buildup.
My uncle escaped again.
I have to rotate my crops.
I'm observing National Apathy Week.
I've been traded to Cincinnati.
I'm going to be old someday.
I have to study for a blood test.
My favorite commercial is on TV.
You know how we psychos are.
I'm writing a love letter to Richard Simmons.
I'm waiting to see if I'm already a winner.
I have to bleach my hare.
My bathroom tiles need grouting.
I'm trying to be less popular.
I feel a song coming on.
I promised to help a friend fold road maps.
I'm uncomfortable when I'm alone or with others.
I have to draw "Cubby" for an art scholarship.
There are important world issues that need worrying about.
I have too much guilt.
I have to wash/condition/perm/curl/tease/torment my hair.
I'm too old/young for that stuff.
it down.
I just picked up a book called "Glue in Many Lands" and I can't put
Basil Metabolism.
I'm running off to Yugoslavia with a foreign-exchange student named
My mother would never let me hear the end of it.
I never go out on days that end in "Y."
My chocolate-appreciation class meets that night.
I'm touring China with a wok band.
My yucca plant is feeling yucky.
I'm attending a perfume convention as guest sniffer.
I'm making a home movie called "The Thing That Grew in My Refrigerator."
I changed the lock on my door and now I can't get out.
People are blaming me for the Spanish-American War.
I'm having all my plants neutered.
I have to be on the next train to Bermuda.
None of my socks match.
I have to answer all of my "occupant" letters.
I've got a Friends of Rutabaga meeting.
The last time I went, I never came back.
I left my body in my other clothes.
I'm giving nuisance lessons at a convenience store.
My subconscious says no.
I have some real hard words to look up in the dictionary.
It's too close to the turn of the century.
I don't want to leave my comfort zone.
I have to fulfill my potential.
My plot to take over the world is thickening.
I made an appointment with a cuticle specialist.
I've come down with a really horrible case of something or other.
I'm converting my calendar watch from Julian to Gregorian.
I have to fluff my shower cap.
I'm taking punk totem pole carving.
The monsters haven't turned blue yet, and I have to eat more dots.
My Millard Filmore Fan Club meets then.
I'll be looking for a parking space.
The grunion are running.
I'm being deported.
I'm going down to the bakery to watch the buns rise.
I'm worried about my vertical hold.
I'm sandblasting my oven.
I'm attending the opening of my garage door.
My patent is pending.
I'm getting my overalls overhauled.
I'm in training to be a household pest.
I'm trying to see how long I can go without saying yes.
My crayons all melted together.
I'm planning to go downtown to try on gloves.
I'm going through cherry cheesecake withdrawl.
I have to check the freshness dates on my dairy products.
I'm teaching my ferret to yodel.
I have to go to the post office to see if I'm still wanted.
I'm doing door-to-door collecting for static cling.
There's a disturbance in the Force.
I'm enrolled in aerobic scream therapy.
I did my own thing and now I've got to undo it.
I'm building a pig from a kit.
It wouldn't be fair to the other Beautiful People.
It's my parakeet's bowling night.
I'm staying home to work on my cottage cheese sculpture.
I've been scheduled for a karma transplant.
The man on television told me to say tuned.
The President said he might drop in.
I want to spend more time with my blender.
I've dedicated my life to linguini.
I have to floss my cat.


      

 


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