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 General Excuses ...
im sorry my son was absent from school today. He had an eyes infection and could not see himself attending class

becky wont be in school next week, as we are in a bit of a thrush, and I know she will be ill.

Dear mr/misses my loved child who i like to punch was off school for the past 12 weeks because a child at the school keeps hitting him i dont know who but if i find out ill kill them like i just killed my son......

by myself so i'm waiting until (insert time) so that i can be escorted by my friends/ boyfriend/girlfriend."

''Sorry,my children are starving and they havent eaten since Breakfast! The school lunches are horrible!"

becky wont be in school next week, as we are in a bit of a thrush, and I know she will be ill.
Dear mr/misses my loved child who i like to punch was off school for the past 12 weeks because a child at the school keeps hitting him i dont know who but if i find out ill kill them like i just killed my son......
by myself so i'm waiting until (insert time) so that i can be escorted by my friends/ boyfriend/girlfriend."
''Sorry,my children are starving and they havent eaten since Breakfast! The school lunches are horrible!"
I Could not turn in my assignment because i mistook it for a letter for my penpal in siberia, sent it, and im going to need an extension to get it back.
I'm just a naturally hyper person and the alcohol in my system is from cough syrup.
My green card just expired
My hair got caught in the blender.
Coach, yesterday in spanish I almost passed out i swear!
Yeah.. but I really just don't like you.
Sorry im late, i was squeezing a spot!
i can't go to ... because i am busy for the next week or so
Blame it on the cheese Roll
I am in a snow storm, my car is stuck and the ploughs arnt coming ..."Its the middle of Summer," .........freak weather! it's global warmings fault.
my dog is having surgery
Don’t want to go out
I have to take a bath....one hundred times....cramps
can't you see i'm busy?
I'm watching paint dry
My hair is messed up and I need to comb it.
I wont be in today because I ran out of TOTAL and have to finish forty bowls of special K
"Please can i stay out for half an hour later coz we're watching a movie at (insert name)'s house."
"I'm staying out a little later because the pizza we ordered hasnt arrived yet."
I would like to come home on time but i don't want to walk up in the dark.
I was just round the corner when i realised i left my (insert object) at (insert person)'s house and i had to go and get it.
"I'm sorry I cant talk right now, I'm drinking tea."
I have to finish rewinding my tapes.
I have to finish rewinding my CD's.
I can not go today for the scabs are getting worse on my body
I'm late because the late bell rang before I got here.
(if you get caught drinking) I Was Not Drinking, But i have Just Been Kissing people who have been drinking. (this actually worked when i got pulled over, they did not have a breathaliser.)
i broke my hip going downstaris geting a pencil to prepare studing for my history exam!!
A friend leaving a house when they are bored "I have to go clean my fishbowl"
can't you please give me a break officer? Honestly, I only speed when I'm drunk!!!!
Im calling in dead.
Sorry, I couldn't come in yesterday, my cousin's friend's godmother's fish had an allergic reaction to it's food and almost died
Um....I was in a terrible plane crash and my whole family died and im a vegetable......I'll see you tomorrow.
Jedi mind trick (make elaborate sweeping motion with hand) "You dont need to see my liscense and registration.
I am not late, everyone else is just early
I'd love to but.... i have to butter my flip flops
I have to change the air in my basketballs
My cat is on dialysis.
I'm trying to loose weight, but it just keeps finding me!
I'd love to but.....I don't see any pigs flying.
I'd love to,but.........i broke a nail
My dog told me not to.
Was I late or was everyone else in the world early?
I'd love to but... I am allergic to that.
Sir! Sir! You'll never guess what happened my dad works for the secret service and the geography project I done has some important data in it so they raided my house last night and snatched my project away then ripped it!
I'd love to but... I found a hair in my soup, and I have to find it's rightful owner.
My goldfish ran away
Sorry, but the Blue optic buffer gasket housing bracket turbine core 357 hemi lifter emulator rod bearing clamp, with Tran optical delushment ball bearing, tripptoppened to a three piece microlator, wasn't working in my car, and it broke down.
I'd love to but... I got abducted by my goldfish.
I’d love to but I’d be violating my parole
I'd love to but I have to re-arrange they keys in my keyboard.
"Oh I'm sorry, but I'm actually a vampire and I need to hurry back before the sun rises"
Sorry I couldn't get you a decent gift but all my money comes straight out of your pocket!
"Sorry I’m on my period and I was in a hurry to get home, because I’m bleeding all over myself"
Sorry, I'm allergic to people
"He told me I could borrow it."
"I didn't see the speed limit sign."
"I didn't know there was a law against doing that."
"I wasn't really speeding. Because I'm driving a sports car it just looks like I was."
"My speedometer is broken and I didn't realize I was speeding."
"I was just following orders."
"There is a massive conspiracy on the part of the police, the crime lab, the media, etc. to discredit me." (the OJ Defense)
"I was temporarily insane."
"I refuse to answer, under advice of counsel."
"I'm not as drunk as you think I am, Officer."
"I didn't take it, I found it and was trying to find the owner."
"I'm sorry officer, I didn't realize I was speeding, but I had cancer a few years ago, and I was just coming back from the doctor's office where I get my annual cancer check-up. He told me I was still in good health, and I was so happy that I just forgot I was speeding."
... well, maybe.
I'm trying to cut down.
I have to sit up with a sick ant.
I think you want the OTHER [your name] .
I prefer to remain an enigma.
I have to stay home and see if I snore.
My Dress For Obscurity class meets then.
My palm reader advised against it.
I have to jog my memory.
I'm going to the Missing Persons Bureau to see if anyone is looking for me.
Having fun gives me prickly heat.
I have to thaw some karate chops for dinner.
I'm going to count the bristles in my toothbrush.
I have to go to court for kitty littering.
I'm having my baby shoes bronzed.
I have to knit some dust bunnies for a charity bazaar.
I'm up to my elbows in waxy buildup.
My uncle escaped again.
I have to rotate my crops.
I'm observing National Apathy Week.
I've been traded to Cincinnati.
I'm going to be old someday.
I have to study for a blood test.
My favorite commercial is on TV.
You know how we psychos are.
I'm writing a love letter to Richard Simmons.
I'm waiting to see if I'm already a winner.
I have to bleach my hare.
My bathroom tiles need grouting.
I'm trying to be less popular.
I feel a song coming on.
I promised to help a friend fold road maps.
I'm uncomfortable when I'm alone or with others.
I have to draw "Cubby" for an art scholarship.
There are important world issues that need worrying about.
I have too much guilt.
I have to wash/condition/perm/curl/tease/torment my hair.
I'm too old/young for that stuff.
it down.
I just picked up a book called "Glue in Many Lands" and I can't put
Basil Metabolism.
I'm running off to Yugoslavia with a foreign-exchange student named
My mother would never let me hear the end of it.
I never go out on days that end in "Y."
My chocolate-appreciation class meets that night.
I'm touring China with a wok band.
My yucca plant is feeling yucky.
I'm attending a perfume convention as guest sniffer.
I'm making a home movie called "The Thing That Grew in My Refrigerator."
I changed the lock on my door and now I can't get out.
People are blaming me for the Spanish-American War.
I'm having all my plants neutered.
I have to be on the next train to Bermuda.
None of my socks match.
I have to answer all of my "occupant" letters.
I've got a Friends of Rutabaga meeting.
The last time I went, I never came back.
I left my body in my other clothes.
I'm giving nuisance lessons at a convenience store.
My subconscious says no.
I have some real hard words to look up in the dictionary.
It's too close to the turn of the century.
I don't want to leave my comfort zone.
I have to fulfill my potential.
My plot to take over the world is thickening.
I made an appointment with a cuticle specialist.
I've come down with a really horrible case of something or other.
I'm converting my calendar watch from Julian to Gregorian.
I have to fluff my shower cap.
I'm taking punk totem pole carving.
The monsters haven't turned blue yet, and I have to eat more dots.
My Millard Filmore Fan Club meets then.
I'll be looking for a parking space.
The grunion are running.
I'm being deported.
I'm going down to the bakery to watch the buns rise.
I'm worried about my vertical hold.
I'm sandblasting my oven.
I'm attending the opening of my garage door.
My patent is pending.
I'm getting my overalls overhauled.
I'm in training to be a household pest.
I'm trying to see how long I can go without saying yes.
My crayons all melted together.
I'm planning to go downtown to try on gloves.
I'm going through cherry cheesecake withdrawl.
I have to check the freshness dates on my dairy products.
I'm teaching my ferret to yodel.
I have to go to the post office to see if I'm still wanted.
I'm doing door-to-door collecting for static cling.
There's a disturbance in the Force.
I'm enrolled in aerobic scream therapy.
I did my own thing and now I've got to undo it.
I'm building a pig from a kit.
It wouldn't be fair to the other Beautiful People.
It's my parakeet's bowling night.
I'm staying home to work on my cottage cheese sculpture.
I've been scheduled for a karma transplant.
The man on television told me to say tuned.
The President said he might drop in.
I want to spend more time with my blender.
I've dedicated my life to linguini.
I have to floss my cat.


      

 


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